[ it's friday, right. we didn't sleep through an entire day and it's saturday now? anyway.
vayne went to the afterparty. he wallflowered for a bit. regardless of who he does, or doesn't talk to, it eventually wears out its welcome, and he slips away without much fanfare, charting a course for quieter territory. maybe it's the warmth of the fire, incongruently homey, that draws him towards the museum...
or maybe it's that it's a place of remembrance. not for this, but- in general. is it too soon for this sort of thing? when is it not too soon to think about people who existed, who were alive, and then all of a sudden weren't anymore?
but as it happens, he's not alone when he gets there, so his wandering thoughts are given pause. ]
Ah... you left early too, huh. Um, did you need the space...? I can leave, if you want.
[ kurapika had seemed- frustrated, towards the end there. is it because he'd spoken to sora more? ]
[ Kurapika is staring off into space, thinking about other things, like home. It's when he hears someone else walking towards the museum that he looks for the source of the sound, his eyes landing on Vayne. It's quiet out here, after all. It's easy to hear people approaching.
He shakes his head. ]
I did, but... I don't mind. You can stay.
[ He thinks Vayne is nice anyway, so his company really isn't mind, even if he's very obviously brooding. ]
I wanted to thank you for your suggestion. If you hadn't... I don't know if we would have figured it out, or added up the pieces of evidence.
Ah... I'm glad it helped. I'm not really used to doing this kind of stuff, so...
[ not like certain more domineering personalities here (like erika), anyway. but it's fine. vayne is a quieter presence, but it's not like he's trying to hide the fact that he exists. ]
Though we were already most of the way there, I think, with the general idea of the kind of person we were looking for. So we might have figured it out anyway if we'd had more time...
[ just. that time limit. ]
... It's so easy to miss things or just not— manage to think about it in the moment, is it?
[ would they have realized it only after, and kicked themselves for too little, too late? ]
... yeah. Me too. I still can't really understand what would've driven him to do any of this. But it also seems sad, somehow, to just ... dismiss Sora's actions as that of someone who was just like that.
He all but said ... he had nothing to lose, practically nothing to go back to. So then, why? Why did he feel strongly enough to ...
[ it's all so... so much. how much did sora feel, for this hinata of his? (what would hinata think?) why say things like 'it doesn't matter' and in the next breath declare it was worth trying to take action anyway? ]
And even then, even if he wanted to go back, there was no need to go to such extremes.
[ It doesn't make sense. It really, really doesn't. There were others there who seemed to understand Sora, at least on some level, but Kurapika isn't one of them. He doesn't know that he ever will be, either.
Kurapika shakes his head. ]
I don't understand it either. How you could feel strongly enough for someone that you wanted to go back to them like that.
[ Taking revenge for them? That much, he understands. But he doesn't get how feelings can be the driver behind his actions. Why kill in such a way? ]
He... didn't need to desecrate Keito's corpse like that. Why do that, if he just wanted to get back home?
'won't do it, or can't do it. do you understand the difference between them? not doing, even when you can. not being able to because you can't. even if all hope is lost in this world, no one can waste one's life. ... like you'd understand what i'm saying anyway.'
is this what powerlessness feels like? this place has them at a disadvantage. they still know so little about everything here... ]
Do you think things will get worse, going forward?
[ What it be like from now on? Will they all begin to doubt each other, wondering what facades everyone else is putting on? Will this first spillage of blood lead to even more?
It's an answer that he doesn't like, but he's confident in it. ]
...I do. We can't go back to what little peace we felt before, not anymore. It's all changed for the worse, whether we like it or not.
[ And he's not so confident that they won't wake up to another murder in just a couple of days. ]
... I'd had a bit of an idea, if it really did turn out that we need to spill blood for the fruits that will allow people to go home. If that's even what they'll really do.
But ... I'm not sure it's even slightly a decent idea anymore.
[ because kurapika's concerns in the metatext are echoed in vayne- will the fact that they were all so fooled by sora's facade lead them to end up spiraling before they can figure anything out...? ]
All I know is that I want to help everyone out of this. Beyond that ... I don't know.
We want similar things. I want to stay alive and help as many others leave here alive too.
[ He has goals to accomplish, after all, and he can't achieve those if he's dead. ]
If a number of us are determined to keep that mindset... we might be able to achieve something. One of us is bound to stumble upon something at some point, so long as we keep looking.
[ Kurapika isn't a particularly optimistic person, but he knows what a good mindset can accomplish.
If there was no other option, I would have offered.
[ vayne isn't exactly the most willful of those gathered here, too prone to self-doubt and timidity usually, but there's no hesitation in the words he speaks now. ]
If it came down to it, and spilling blood was truly necessary for people to leave... I would have offered.
[ but ... haha. as it turns out, some people are entirely too bloodthirsty. ]
[ Not that Kurapika isn't the same—the only reason why he wouldn't offer is because he has a goal he's set out to accomplish, a goal that he'll gladly shave years off of his life to accomplish. But just because his reasons are selfish doesn't mean he doesn't also place little value on his own livelihood.
He's a hypocrite for even asking Vayne that question, but he doesn't care about being a hypocrite. ]
Or is it that you value everyone else's safety above anything else?
[ A lot has really happened in just... what was it? Only a day? It's hard to tell at this point, waking up and investigating three murders before jumping into a trial where one of his closest friends here admitted to one of the killings, all before witnessing a stressful and emotional execution.
It's why Kurapika is at the saloon, sitting on one of the stools with some sort of gin cocktail in front of him. He gives Vayne a little wave when he walks in, mildly surprised to see him here.
Though, after everything, maybe he shouldn't be. ]
Would you like something to drink?
[ Their conversation tonight might be just as heavy as last week's, given everything that's happened, so a drink might not be a terrible idea. ]
[ honestly? vayne normally doesn't, probably. he's much more likely, hypothetically, to be the assigned designated driver for any given friend group in the modern day.
but at this point his thoughts are chasing themselves in circles. coming to the saloon to drink might not have been his actual intention (that would be to find a relatively unoccupied space to think over things and reflect on all the things they now know and still don't), but... ]
... Ah. Sure, I guess. [ why not. ] One can't hurt, I suppose.
[ i have not iconed it yet because i'm still mobile, but his expression is more or less this right now, the sense of distraction and not necessarily being all there in the present included. ]
[ It's very obvious that Vayne is distracted, probably thinking over everything revealed during the execution... but part of that could be bias on Kurapika's end, because that's certainly occupying a large portion of his mind right about now.
That, and the memory that just returned to him.
So, with a bit of a smile, Kurapika orders another gin-based cocktail while sliding the gin and tonic in front of him towards Vayne. ]
It might help you gather your thoughts. Or muddle them more. It's hard to predict.
I don't think it'd be very easy to do the second thing, but maybe ...
[ maybe. he watches the mustached duck idly as it (he?) goes through the motions of assembling the drink, perhaps trying to divine any sense of dissatisfaction or reluctance in its role. none to be found, of course; the ducks as ever are happy to help.
once it's in front of him he doesn't drink from it straightaway, instead picking it up to let it swirl gently around the glass first.
there's a lot of things they could talk about, probably. he can ask what's on kurapika's mind, given everything. how he's holding up, considering what one of his friends? did, not two nights ago.
or, perhaps, he can start with somewhat of a seeming non-sequitur, ]
... The alchemy here is ... very limited.
[ if he was certain other people he knows— there's multiple he can think of— he would have a harsher descriptor for it. as it is, it's enough for him to be able to express distaste or annoyance. ]
[ Honestly? It's shocking to see Vayne express anything negative at all. Even in their conversation about his true nature and all of its consequences, Vayne never really... complained.
It's why Kurapika's brows lift and he regards Vayne with a mild sort of surprise as he takes a sip of his drink, swallowing hard at the unpleasant burn the gin creates at the back of his throat. Getting drunk in this very saloon two weeks ago really didn't make him like alcohol any more than he does now. ]
Why do you say that? Are you wanting to make something specific?
[ His mind immediately goes to a weapon that might help them take down their captors, but... he'll wait for Vayne's answer before jumping to any conclusions. ]
There's only four things it can do in the end, according to all the books here, and three of them are destructive. That's not ... that isn't what it should be.
[ ... ah. maybe mio was right, when she said this might be a passion of his. that's... still strange to think, when for a long time it was enough to simply exist. ]
Even if you take out the more fantastical things, the ones that the people who don't understand it wouldn't be able to think of... none of the books say anything about making things that are meant to help. Nothing like medicines, nothing like antidotes, just poisons. The closest things are the growth potions, but those aren't...
[ there's a point in all this, if he can come back around to it. ]
... Adela didn't give me a straight answer when I asked if this all was real, back when we first got here. But from what we saw earlier ... If she does control a lot more of what happens in this place than we thought...
Does she just ... not get it? Or is the point to encourage us to hurt each other, even when she keeps saying things about wanting us to be happy here?
[ if she's trying to build a community, one that cannibalizes itself isn't going to last long. ]
[ As he listens to Vayne speak, Kurapika can't help but think that he feels strongly about alchemy. It seems obvious, since he's going to school for it and all, but it does sound like real, genuine feelings for it tinge his words. ]
I have to wonder if she's used to getting what she wants through violent means, and she's doing the same here. Killing is an extreme act, and perhaps she had hoped that we wouldn't resort to that and make do with staying here.
[ But clearly that didn't work out well. ]
Though it doesn't explain why poisons and corrosive potions are so easy to get ahold of. It really feels as if they're asking us to kill each other at this point.
[ With a sigh, he takes another sip of his drink. ]
I wonder if they're hoping that the ones that want to leave will kill each other off and those who don't mind staying will live.
That won't be very many of us, at this rate... [ those who would want to stay, that is. ] She ... has to know that, right?
Though I guess she thinks that making us all forget will probably fix that, or something.
[ it's still not quite censure, coming from him, but. no matter how you look at it, it doesn't make sense, not to anyone reasonable... hm.
maybe it's time for a sip of that drink. which- all right, he's no stranger to bitterness, but the burn is. something to get used to, so he does not quite down his sip with all that much grace. ]
[ But Vayne isn’t the only one. Kurapika has just gotten used to hiding his reaction, which he does as he takes another sip, the warmth of the alcohol filling his body pleasantly despite the taste. ]
I was thinking about Shinobu, that execution, my memories, and what we’ll do from here.
[ In short, his thoughts are a bit of a jumbled mess, his mind flitting from one thing to the next. ]
... I guess that's probably most of us right now, isn't it.
[ a lot sure has happened in the last 48 hours. it's ... a lot to tackle, all at once.
well. he doesn't know. maybe some of their number, the more certain of themselves, aren't contorting themselves into increasingly complicated shapes over this. what must it be like to have that kind of self-assurance... but as it is, he is not those people.
w1, friday after trial;
vayne went to the afterparty. he wallflowered for a bit. regardless of who he does, or doesn't talk to, it eventually wears out its welcome, and he slips away without much fanfare, charting a course for quieter territory. maybe it's the warmth of the fire, incongruently homey, that draws him towards the museum...
or maybe it's that it's a place of remembrance. not for this, but- in general. is it too soon for this sort of thing? when is it not too soon to think about people who existed, who were alive, and then all of a sudden weren't anymore?
but as it happens, he's not alone when he gets there, so his wandering thoughts are given pause. ]
Ah... you left early too, huh. Um, did you need the space...? I can leave, if you want.
[ kurapika had seemed- frustrated, towards the end there. is it because he'd spoken to sora more? ]
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He shakes his head. ]
I did, but... I don't mind. You can stay.
[ He thinks Vayne is nice anyway, so his company really isn't mind, even if he's very obviously brooding. ]
I wanted to thank you for your suggestion. If you hadn't... I don't know if we would have figured it out, or added up the pieces of evidence.
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[ not like certain more domineering personalities here (like erika), anyway. but it's fine. vayne is a quieter presence, but it's not like he's trying to hide the fact that he exists. ]
Though we were already most of the way there, I think, with the general idea of the kind of person we were looking for. So we might have figured it out anyway if we'd had more time...
[ just. that time limit. ]
... It's so easy to miss things or just not— manage to think about it in the moment, is it?
[ would they have realized it only after, and kicked themselves for too little, too late? ]
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[ Because, really, if Vayne hadn't suggested excessive cleanliness and Enkidu hadn't noticed Sora's feet were particularly clean... ]
I think we were all feeling the pressure, and with a crime so gruesome, it's hard not to.
[ He sighs, leaning his head back against the outside wall of the museum. ]
Honestly, I think I'm still tense from all of that.
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He all but said ... he had nothing to lose, practically nothing to go back to. So then, why? Why did he feel strongly enough to ...
[ it's all so... so much. how much did sora feel, for this hinata of his? (what would hinata think?) why say things like 'it doesn't matter' and in the next breath declare it was worth trying to take action anyway? ]
And even then, even if he wanted to go back, there was no need to go to such extremes.
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Kurapika shakes his head. ]
I don't understand it either. How you could feel strongly enough for someone that you wanted to go back to them like that.
[ Taking revenge for them? That much, he understands. But he doesn't get how feelings can be the driver behind his actions. Why kill in such a way? ]
He... didn't need to desecrate Keito's corpse like that. Why do that, if he just wanted to get back home?
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[ ...
'won't do it, or can't do it. do you understand the difference between them?
not doing, even when you can. not being able to because you can't.
even if all hope is lost in this world, no one can waste one's life.
... like you'd understand what i'm saying anyway.'
is this what powerlessness feels like? this place has them at a disadvantage. they still know so little about everything here... ]
Do you think things will get worse, going forward?
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It's an answer that he doesn't like, but he's confident in it. ]
...I do. We can't go back to what little peace we felt before, not anymore. It's all changed for the worse, whether we like it or not.
[ And he's not so confident that they won't wake up to another murder in just a couple of days. ]
Have you thought about what you'll do about it?
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But ... I'm not sure it's even slightly a decent idea anymore.
[ because kurapika's concerns in the metatext are echoed in vayne- will the fact that they were all so fooled by sora's facade lead them to end up spiraling before they can figure anything out...? ]
All I know is that I want to help everyone out of this. Beyond that ... I don't know.
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[ He has goals to accomplish, after all, and he can't achieve those if he's dead. ]
If a number of us are determined to keep that mindset... we might be able to achieve something. One of us is bound to stumble upon something at some point, so long as we keep looking.
[ Kurapika isn't a particularly optimistic person, but he knows what a good mindset can accomplish.
But speaking of stumbling upon things— ]
What was your idea?
cw: suicidal intent/ideation.............
[ vayne isn't exactly the most willful of those gathered here, too prone to self-doubt and timidity usually, but there's no hesitation in the words he speaks now. ]
If it came down to it, and spilling blood was truly necessary for people to leave... I would have offered.
[ but ... haha. as it turns out, some people are entirely too bloodthirsty. ]
cw suicidal ideation
[ Not that Kurapika isn't the same—the only reason why he wouldn't offer is because he has a goal he's set out to accomplish, a goal that he'll gladly shave years off of his life to accomplish. But just because his reasons are selfish doesn't mean he doesn't also place little value on his own livelihood.
He's a hypocrite for even asking Vayne that question, but he doesn't care about being a hypocrite. ]
Or is it that you value everyone else's safety above anything else?
cw suicidal ideation
[ if he's to be completely honest, perhaps. there's a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes before he closes them. takes a breath. releases it.
in for a penny, out for a pound. ]
What if I told you ... I was something dangerous? The kind of something that people apparently would be willing to fight over.
I don't want to be the reason my friends get hurt, all because someone else was trying to get to me. If I can keep them safe from that ... I would.
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cw suicidal ideation
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cw suicidal ideation mention
cw suicidal ideation mention again
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week 2, post execution
It's why Kurapika is at the saloon, sitting on one of the stools with some sort of gin cocktail in front of him. He gives Vayne a little wave when he walks in, mildly surprised to see him here.
Though, after everything, maybe he shouldn't be. ]
Would you like something to drink?
[ Their conversation tonight might be just as heavy as last week's, given everything that's happened, so a drink might not be a terrible idea. ]
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but at this point his thoughts are chasing themselves in circles. coming to the saloon to drink might not have been his actual intention (that would be to find a relatively unoccupied space to think over things and reflect on all the things they now know and still don't), but... ]
... Ah. Sure, I guess. [ why not. ] One can't hurt, I suppose.
[ i have not iconed it yet because i'm still mobile, but his expression is more or less this right now, the sense of distraction and not necessarily being all there in the present included. ]
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That, and the memory that just returned to him.
So, with a bit of a smile, Kurapika orders another gin-based cocktail while sliding the gin and tonic in front of him towards Vayne. ]
It might help you gather your thoughts. Or muddle them more. It's hard to predict.
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[ maybe. he watches the mustached duck idly as it (he?) goes through the motions of assembling the drink, perhaps trying to divine any sense of dissatisfaction or reluctance in its role. none to be found, of course; the ducks as ever are happy to help.
once it's in front of him he doesn't drink from it straightaway, instead picking it up to let it swirl gently around the glass first.
there's a lot of things they could talk about, probably. he can ask what's on kurapika's mind, given everything. how he's holding up, considering what one of his friends? did, not two nights ago.
or, perhaps, he can start with somewhat of a seeming non-sequitur, ]
... The alchemy here is ... very limited.
[ if he was certain other people he knows— there's multiple he can think of— he would have a harsher descriptor for it. as it is, it's enough for him to be able to express distaste or annoyance. ]
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It's why Kurapika's brows lift and he regards Vayne with a mild sort of surprise as he takes a sip of his drink, swallowing hard at the unpleasant burn the gin creates at the back of his throat. Getting drunk in this very saloon two weeks ago really didn't make him like alcohol any more than he does now. ]
Why do you say that? Are you wanting to make something specific?
[ His mind immediately goes to a weapon that might help them take down their captors, but... he'll wait for Vayne's answer before jumping to any conclusions. ]
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[ ... ah. maybe mio was right, when she said this might be a passion of his. that's... still strange to think, when for a long time it was enough to simply exist. ]
Even if you take out the more fantastical things, the ones that the people who don't understand it wouldn't be able to think of... none of the books say anything about making things that are meant to help. Nothing like medicines, nothing like antidotes, just poisons. The closest things are the growth potions, but those aren't...
[ there's a point in all this, if he can come back around to it. ]
... Adela didn't give me a straight answer when I asked if this all was real, back when we first got here. But from what we saw earlier ... If she does control a lot more of what happens in this place than we thought...
Does she just ... not get it? Or is the point to encourage us to hurt each other, even when she keeps saying things about wanting us to be happy here?
[ if she's trying to build a community, one that cannibalizes itself isn't going to last long. ]
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I have to wonder if she's used to getting what she wants through violent means, and she's doing the same here. Killing is an extreme act, and perhaps she had hoped that we wouldn't resort to that and make do with staying here.
[ But clearly that didn't work out well. ]
Though it doesn't explain why poisons and corrosive potions are so easy to get ahold of. It really feels as if they're asking us to kill each other at this point.
[ With a sigh, he takes another sip of his drink. ]
I wonder if they're hoping that the ones that want to leave will kill each other off and those who don't mind staying will live.
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Though I guess she thinks that making us all forget will probably fix that, or something.
[ it's still not quite censure, coming from him, but. no matter how you look at it, it doesn't make sense, not to anyone reasonable... hm.
maybe it's time for a sip of that drink. which- all right, he's no stranger to bitterness, but the burn is. something to get used to, so he does not quite down his sip with all that much grace. ]
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[ Why go through the trouble at all if she doesn’t believe in her own methods?
Though that little train of thought is immediately broken by the way Vayne all but chokes down that sip.
Kurapika can’t help it—he laughs. ]
Not used to it?
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[ it's sheepish, wry— well, yeah. it's very clearly something he doesn't much indulge in. no disguising or hiding that.
he traces a circle around the rim of his glass, lapsing back into silence for a moment. ]
In a way, it's kind of sad ... But, well. Nevermind. What were you thinking about before I got here?
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[ But Vayne isn’t the only one. Kurapika has just gotten used to hiding his reaction, which he does as he takes another sip, the warmth of the alcohol filling his body pleasantly despite the taste. ]
I was thinking about Shinobu, that execution, my memories, and what we’ll do from here.
[ In short, his thoughts are a bit of a jumbled mess, his mind flitting from one thing to the next. ]
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[ a lot sure has happened in the last 48 hours. it's ... a lot to tackle, all at once.
well. he doesn't know. maybe some of their number, the more certain of themselves, aren't contorting themselves into increasingly complicated shapes over this. what must it be like to have that kind of self-assurance... but as it is, he is not those people.
one thing at a time. ]
... What about Shinobu, exactly?
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