liberazoth | nevertheless the people still sketch the flame of their undying lives;

I mean, it wasn't the strangest thing, but ...

[ school dormitories have adequate enough housing, but even then the farmhouses had seemed a bit... much. comfortable, soft, cozy. like trying too hard to feel like home, almost.

... it almost seems sad, again. that a place like this...

but there's no point in dwelling on could bes, should bes. aren'ts. ]

... I keep thinking of Adela, sometimes. Trying to figure out if there was any way for us to understand each other. But we aren't ... in a position where we can feel sorry for her, are we?

[That lull makes her think about the homeiness of Corpse Flower Farm and the cozy town by the sea. If things were different, could have they stayed here comfortably? Is this the sort of place that Mio could have lived? They aren't different, of course. This place wants to keep them at the cost of holding their lives back, when most of them have things that are much more important to do. It's just a dream.

Vayne bringing up Adela causes Mio to sober, all chatter about the comforts of a real home pushed to the side.]

I really thought...I might be able to reach her if I could make her see what's made my memories so important. [Even in this, she cannot leave a lasting impression.]

I think we can feel sorry for her if she really means what she says... but we can't forget the harm she's causing. We can't just overlook the damage as much as she'd like us to.

Right. What she might want... and what her actions have done, those are two different things. Even if you don't necessarily intend to hurt anyone, that ... isn't always what actually happens.

[ ... ]

I said earlier... when Baldr did, that I shouldn't exist. I'm guessing you're probably here to ask why, right?

I meant what I said. We only have to talk about it if you want to.

[Baldr'd gotten shot down pretty readily when he offered to throw his life away for the rest of them. She's sure the group would do the same within an instant.]

But if it's something you think might be able to help us, then please - I'd like to know where you're coming from.

... I don't think I meant it exactly the same way as he did. I'll help, of course I will, but... He was willing to offer his life because he didn't think it was worth the same as everyone else, right?

But the way he said it. 'Shouldn't exist.' He shouldn't exist because he thinks he's not meant to. I think it's both more and less simple for me. Right now, I exist... but it might be better for people if I don't. I really haven't been given much reason to think otherwise here.

[ the journals, the history with the Junimo... even faldeus' talk of blood-soaked magic rituals, all the way back at the start of this. ]

Mio. Do you think ... that if the power to grant wishes existed anywhere in the world, in any world ... that people can bring themselves to not fight over it? To not try to hurt each other trying to reach it, trying to force it under their control?

Edited 2024-03-23 04:52 (UTC)

[She listens to every word he has to say, her hand left unmoving from where it's currently keeping her steady against the Joja Mart shelf.

Whatever might have happened to make Vayne feel that way, for it to be something that was only emphasized here, it can't have been anything good. Mio thinks he must have suffered much more than he's let on so far.

He's seen what people are capable of, too, and to someone like her who clings to the hope that humans have so much more to offer, it's a little sobering.]

I'd like to think that people are capable of reaching that point. Is that a little naive of me? It's so hard to know what they'd wish for or why it's so important for them to receive it. Dreams propel us forward; that's what I think. When we don't have a clear path to those dreams, we can become desperate.

How much would it take before they got there? Is it worth letting all of these terrible things happen, just so in the end things might turn out better...? If people do terrible things because of you, does that make you responsible?

[ if your existence drives people to murder each other to try to pursue you, isn't it better for everyone if you remove yourself from the equation? isn't that the obvious solution? ]

I'm not human. I was born... no, I was created because my father wished to die. He'd made a mistake and couldn't live with himself after it, but because he was immortal he created me to grant his wish instead. It was the first thing I ever did. I didn't even remember it for the longest time...

I'm the Mana of Wishes. [ he says it without any amount of pride at all, a quiet melancholy in his words. ] I ... guess other places probably wouldn't know what Mana are. They're beings... that govern the phenomena of the world. A Mana of Water controls water. The Mana of Time manipulates time.

I should be able to grant any kind of wish, mine or others.

[ is he wrong to have concluded what he has from the story of the Junimo and Puffin Town's past? ]

[It's...heavy. It's a huge weight that he's carrying, and Mio doesn't know if she'll actually be able to lift any of it in tandem with him even after he's told her. But she still sits there, hands held placidly, and listens to the entire thing. At the very least, she can understand fully now the loneliness of being born with one sole purpose.

She can't wrap her mind around wishes being a thing that come true on a whim rather than things you carry with you and think you're unlikely to ever see. They're the siblings to hopes and dreams - beautiful, but not to him.]

There are already people after you who would hurt others to get what they want, aren't there? You've already seen what they're willing to do.

... not yet, where I came from. Right now ... most of the people who know, they're just afraid of me. Of what I could do to them if I wanted. One of them— killed someone I care about in order to prove I am what I am.

[ right now, the only people who know are the ones looking at damage control, of putting down a threat to the world before it can become one. his friends might have argued in his favor, but...

they're his friends. of course they would. but if everyone else says and thinks he's a monster who shouldn't exist... they can't all be wrong. besides, he's already killed his father. a genius, a prodigy, nigh immortal, snuffed out, just like that... that kind of power is dangerous, isn't it?

he doesn't even know what he's doing, most of the time. ]

Even if I ignore them, or convince them I don't want to hurt anyone... I don't know how long a secret like this can be kept, if this many people already know. And I want to help people. I don't want to just ... hide away somewhere, and pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist.

If, one day, I find someone who can't be helped the normal way... I don't know what I would do. What I should, what I'm supposed to. And ... hiding hasn't worked for this place and the Junimo anyway.

[ this blood-soaked land, which has seen more death than has been chronicled... ]

Edited 2024-03-27 02:22 (UTC)

nevertheless the people still sketch the flame of their undying lives;

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sighs in cw mentioned assisted suicide

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