[ but anyway, here's vayne, paying a visit to beelzebub in his favorite place: the sewers. though beelzebub is probably in a cell rather than comfortably there of his own accord, this time at least...
though maybe the fact that he told them to vote for him means that all this is of his own accord after all? just... not the events that led to this all being necessary.
maybe vayne is too kind. whether or not beelzebub consciously remembers, he still killed two people, and gruesomely at that. neither death seems like it was done kindly, not in the least. but what seems to stick with him is that it seems that beelzebub genuinely didn't want for any of this to happen ... so.
so. either beelzebub is a good actor (who then, for some reason wanted to call the vote on himself), or-
so.
he settles to a stop, not far from the bars that keep the two of them separated. ]
... That curse you mentioned, when you were talking to Mio. Have you ... Is that something you're always worried about? Have you carried that burden with you, all this time ...?
[ his voice is quiet and small, but it's not anything like pity that colors it. if anything, it's more akin to a sad, wondering empathy. ]
[Beelzebub is sat, leant against the sewer walls of his cell. It’s not the cleanest place to be, but he’s long since stopped caring about that.
Lord of the flies, indeed.
He raises his head at Vayne’s approach, surprised that anyone’s visiting him at all. He expects vitriol, something akin to Walter’s sneering, but he doesn’t get it.
It causes him to pause, for a minute.]
…Yes. It’s something I’ve carried with me all my life.
[ a sound, noncommittal. neither agreement nor denial.
is there really no use in apologizing? beelzebub can speak himself freely, can't he? just like how he can't expect to be forgiven. that ... only makes sense, right? ]
... I guess some people are just like that. I think I know what you mean.
[ people who worm their way in, make themselves a presence, until you never knew a time when they weren't there. ]
I'm sorry. For the fact that trying only seems to have hurt you. I know you've done something terrible, and I haven't forgotten that, but ... I think I should still say that to you.
... because I'm scared of the same thing, sometimes. Maybe not in exactly the same way, but hurting the people I care about, not knowing, and only remembering after...
[ maybe it hits just a little bit too close to home. ]
w2 friday? saturday? post-trial i genuinely do not know what day trial happens.
though maybe the fact that he told them to vote for him means that all this is of his own accord after all? just... not the events that led to this all being necessary.
maybe vayne is too kind. whether or not beelzebub consciously remembers, he still killed two people, and gruesomely at that. neither death seems like it was done kindly, not in the least. but what seems to stick with him is that it seems that beelzebub genuinely didn't want for any of this to happen ... so.
so. either beelzebub is a good actor (who then, for some reason wanted to call the vote on himself), or-
so.
he settles to a stop, not far from the bars that keep the two of them separated. ]
... That curse you mentioned, when you were talking to Mio. Have you ... Is that something you're always worried about? Have you carried that burden with you, all this time ...?
[ his voice is quiet and small, but it's not anything like pity that colors it. if anything, it's more akin to a sad, wondering empathy. ]
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Lord of the flies, indeed.
He raises his head at Vayne’s approach, surprised that anyone’s visiting him at all. He expects vitriol, something akin to Walter’s sneering, but he doesn’t get it.
It causes him to pause, for a minute.]
…Yes. It’s something I’ve carried with me all my life.
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Your profile says you dislike humanity. Is this part of why?
[ does beelzebub try to hold himself apart for their own sake? ]
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[Funnily enough.]
I've never been that concerned about humans. Though...
[Hm.]
That's certainly been complicated by being here.
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You don't like people. Not in general. But ... specific people is fine, right?
[ meaningless clarification. they both know the answer to this one, probably. ]
If you see them again, what will you say to them?
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Still, he'll entertain it.]
There's no use in apologising, is there? No...I'd take whatever they had to say to me.
[Maybe then, that can be an atonement.]
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[ a sound, noncommittal. neither agreement nor denial.
is there really no use in apologizing? beelzebub can speak himself freely, can't he? just like how he can't expect to be forgiven. that ... only makes sense, right? ]
And then, after that?
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[He holds a hand to his chest.]
It’ll never be enough. But in some way…
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[ it's not about seeking forgiveness. it's about trying to do the smallest things to even slightly right what went so horribly wrong. ]
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There’s no making up for it, is there? Not for what I’ve done.
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[ ... ]
If you don't ... usually like people. What made you think that you wanted to try, here?
[ what made him think that the risk of hurting those close to him was worth it? ]
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[That's always how it's been, hasn't it? Others, pushing themselves into his life.
Maybe he could've done more to stop them. Maybe he was just looking for an excuse.]
I'd let my guard down, I suppose.
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[ people who worm their way in, make themselves a presence, until you never knew a time when they weren't there. ]
I'm sorry. For the fact that trying only seems to have hurt you. I know you've done something terrible, and I haven't forgotten that, but ... I think I should still say that to you.
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[He doesn’t understand; what right does a monster have to anything resembling a sorry?]
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[ maybe it hits just a little bit too close to home. ]